in defense

my dad is too kind.
he sent this in defense of
cory’s name:

name: cory
meaning: God’s peace,
dweller in or near a hollow,
spear

(i can’t argue with ‘God’s peace’,
but i think i’ll let the kids keep
ribbing him about the round hill bit)

all in a name

henry runs inside yesterday in the
midst of a vigorous watergun battle
in the back yard and eagerly yells,
“mom, does ‘ruler of the home’ mean
that i’m the boss of nathan??”

we like that 5 of the 6 of us have
names with godly, noble meanings.
and we give cory a hard time that
his means ‘a round hill.’
so as we’re singing the jars of clay
version of ‘light of the world,
the city on a hill…’
this morning, henry was excited
to find a redemptive use
for ‘cory’ – city on a cory.
we’re reaching, here.

(runner up:
”on top of ol’ cory
all covered with cheese
i lost my poor meatball…’
you know the one)

c’s phd tam takes on new life
in the dress up bucket

my favorite marine pilot says:
(hey, little bro)
“well, i’m sailing the high seas. haven’t seen land for days.
the water…a pure, deep blue. mezmerizing.”
he’s en route to…wait, can i say it here?

i love how things work out.
remember my trash find on friday night?
our rug has taken on a new life in karen’s house:

so this is all i have to do to update
my apt for summer? cheers. i’m off
to find ‘on trend’ yellow cloth. not.
(they’re afraid people will use tacky
yellow-print and then blame it on them)

“wrestle in prayer”

john newton’s
words to a local congregation
reminded me of
jen t, stacy & anne marie
this morning.

wives of the word, church plantresses (2 of the 3),
good ol’ preachers in their own right
(wait, we’re presbyterians…)

letter IV
july 7, 1777
pp. 229, the utterance of the heart
(typos mine)

sherlock?

did you spot the prime trash find?

carrie, cory, lisa, church & then the street fair

ps – it’s the rug, watson. the rug.
pps – we can’t find caroline’s church sandals.
has anyone seen them? thus the chuck taylors.

can you spot the trash find–er,
second hand item?
out with the old, in with the new.

my creative friend, julie d.
(i like may 15)

cjc weekend update

cory’s 2nd full week of work.
no pain meds in sight.
beth israel is knocking
(to lacerate or not to lacerate).
to columbia (john chabot) on june 4
for a consult.
ct scan at roosevelt should be next week
(4 wks after the last one)

thank you for the meals,
the encouragement in so
many various forms this week.

tis so sweet to
trust in Jesus
just to take him at
his word
just to rest upon
his promise
just to know
‘thus said the Lord’

a party in a box

prescript: this may sound like a eulogy, but it’s not

our favorite LBRN,
(lisa brown, l. brown, lisa brown, r.n. pediatric nurse that she is,
the abbreviation fits in multiple ways)

moving to hawaii-o
we’re in tears to see you go

new york will be less so without your smiles,
cheerful outlook, zealous cultural endeavors,
board & card game playing, which bring us all together,
your delicious concoctions in the kitchen,
and eager spirit that seeks to serve.
a party in a box, she is.

the ways you worship God
remind us of who He is.

june 9 is fast approaching
when we send you soaring
off to the moist north shore;
watch out for The Others.

we love you.

‘billions of blistering blue barnacles!’

our new tintin book arrived today.
who’s more excited, n or us?

spirograph (remember that?) with miles, daniel is an angel,
eli tried to teach us to make a stick bomb with popsicle sticks.
very intriguing, eh? requires 5 sticks.
‘requires’ means you have to keep having
seconds until you get to 5 sticks.
pretty smart, if you ask me.

desktop update?
whimsey press downloads
(i’m running the dots today)

no biblical examples here

i was taking a quick picture of
one of betsy’s first ever chances
to get out of the stroller &
start acquiring her city legs.

i’m moved by the image of
proudhappy girl holding the
hands of her nearest & dearest.
our last little baby;
i was really savoring the moment.
and then i kept the camera rolling.

enter frame:
henry in one of his true-to-form
major wipeouts.

and cory casually walks around him.
and leads the girls around him, too.
the good samaritan, he isn’t.

maybe we’ve just seen one-too-many
henrywipeouts to know that they’re
never as bad as they look/sound.

go ahead, ask henry what one of his nicknames is.
his speedy reply?
concrete head.

and as the kramers’ like to point out,
at least one member of the cates’ family
seems to have an apple at all times.
we go through buckets & truckloads of ‘em.
directly after a cream of wheat breakfast this morning,
60 degrees outside, sitting out on the patio with…
an apple.
(and no shoes)

‘my dear children,
let us not love in
word or in tongue,
but in deed and in truth.’
I john 3:18

it’s hard.
to not just talk about
loving your family
but to actually be kind,
to be helpful
and not selfish.

today we’re talking about
how much easier it can be
to love our friends
than to love our family.

-i told henry that he was doing
a good job helping lead the girls this
morning on our outing to hippo park
to which he deadpanned,
“i know.
my name means ruler of the home;
i’m good at my job.”

-cory’s at work.
i wish i had something more
descriptive to say. he’s at work.
nothing to report but a wonderfully
ordinary day. pain is in control.
his handsome life, as always, is in the Lord’s hands.

call it a delight

5. the farmer’s market touch is evident
as more & more buildings have their
flowers planted out in front

4. lina eating the spaghetti
(still saying you should watch ‘mm’)

3. watching cory’s strength &
stamina improve

2. welcoming tracy as a strong
part of the Lord’s work here in
the city and at redeemer
(thanks for coming, tt)

1.listening to the children
‘work things out’ with kind answers
and forgiving words

top five ways i see the Lord’s redemption
& glory today,
the Lord’s day.

henry & brit fix the doorstop

flower girl practice for The Wedding

sunday morning team legos

old v. new

i’m itching to watch ‘mostly martha‘
again, esp since we’ve seen ads for the
new catherine z-j version of it which
come off as less than appealing.
(‘no reservations’)

cheeky, happy, redemptive.
what more do you want in a saturday night movie?
come on, call flicks.

disclaimer: are you in a subtitle mood?
(‘martha’ a german film)
sometimes we’re just not up for a read.
and on those nights,
i sincerely advocate that there is a
time & a place for ‘zoolander’,
‘royal tenebaums,’ ‘nacho libre’
and the like.

maybe this is the first friday night i
won’t suggest you waste your time
with web surfing.
7 minutes of theology, perhaps?
a simple way to pray, by tim

who am i kidding.
strike out for just a minute out on
the vaste webby expanse:
m.b. strikes again
(his how-to videos have helped me save
cooking face on a few occasions)
mark bittman’s no frills $200 kitchen

if carrie & henry were any more relaxed
they’d be asleep

caroline gets her roller groove on in the kitchen

stacy will regret requesting more photos
of the dj on the website.
caroline goes in for the closeup today.
after several failed attempts at finding the
right button on the camera.


ps – yep. the red poster on the wall was my
mother’s day gift. a great snap of the british
stiff upper lift, these were posted around
london during the blitz of 1940-41.
and seemed somehow appropriate for our living room.
this chummy bookstore shipped it from
the uk for mere pennies. (well, a few hundred pennies)
barter books northumberland, england

good times, good times

we’ve certainly missed hosting fellowship group
these past several weeks of cory’s pancreatic debacle.

tonight was good for the soul:
fg dinner in the garden,
lots of laughter,
delicious summer fare,
celebrating charis & julia’s birthdays,
cheering for jane & newton’s engagement;
the Body of Christ is truly our life.

yet another day at work,
home by 3:30pm.
cory sees the good doctors at columbia pres
within the next week or so, looking forward to
having their brain trust working on a
comprehensive care plan for our cjc.

risk-playing on a rainy day; trey & caroline

reynolds’ are fun; henry graduates from mom’s grp

betsy boo; anna, melissa, kj, charis, julia & jane

rain? she decks out in full gear & doesn’t
come in until she’s drenched and has sung
every rain related song she knows.

you tell me

you tell me how sick cory is:
here’s what he served the kids
for breakfast this morning &
billed it as ‘banana snap crackle surprise’

layered in a bowl:
yogurt
rice krispies
banana

and what do you think the
’surprise’ was buried in the
bottom of the bowl?

that’s right.
a brownie.

wha?
he must have a fever or be in some
serious pain.

but he’s back at work again today
for the 3rd day this week.
new normal is coming close to
old normal in some ways.

love you guys,
kj

a+

i’m not extrapolating (david), but
it’s really been a good one, a trend perhaps?
he almost whistled (bruce)
but he definately laughed
without
wincing.

high marks for this day.

(on the technical front, looks like
we’re leaning toward the
internal scope&slash procedure)

we’ve all gotta start our new yorker addiction sometime.
he’s trying to figure out the cartoons; aren’t we all.


henry goes in for the closeup.
uh-ho, did i get a haircut exactly like my 2 yr old daughter? nice.
i may have taken this dress-alike thing one step too far.
trickygirl is demonstrating why cory gets the heebiejeebies
every morning when it’s time to brush his teeth.
who knows which ones she’s gotten ahold of the day before. whoops.

cory is still hanging strong at bedtime tonight
and luckily so because that book caroline chose
goes on & on & on and i can’t bear to read it in its
entirety. that’s right, i’m a page skipper.

ps – nathan brought home a super sweet mother’s day
gift in the form of a book he created in art class entitled,
‘all about my mom’.
page one, ’she was born in colorado…’
um, maybe he should’ve done a little research on that one?

wild no more

“…Of course the Man was wild too.
He was dreadfully wild. He didn’t even
begin to be tame till he met the Woman,
and she told him that she did not like
living in his wild ways.

She picked out a nice dry Cave, instead of a
heap of wet leaves to lie down in; and she
strewed clean sand on the floor; and she
lit a nice fire of wood at the back of the cave;
and she hung a dried wild-horse skin, tail-down,
across the opening of the Cave and she said,
‘Wipe your feet, dear, when you come in and
now we will keep house.’”
–the start of last night’s bedtime reading,
Rudyard Kipling’s the cat who walked by himself

cory quietly laughing & shaking his head as we read.
clearly laughing at the rightness of it all.

it’s looking like an A day today.
maybe just short of whistling as he goes to work.
hey, who knows, he could surprise me on this one;
maybe he’ll add a skip and a whistle through mad sq park.

ways we’re praying today:
-we need a few more voices (specific medical voices)
to weigh in on the decision re: the internal scope/lacerate option
-GutFreeze = everying StaysTheSame internally today
(no gallstone shifting, no pancreas eating tiself, nada)
-of course, the swelling could continue to diminish
(un-freeze for that part)

ps – Coach Cory was in super form yesterday.
michelle, lisa & i were impressed watching him
jog in to the dugout after each
inning cheerfully calling out the batting order.
and we went straight to church from the baseball field.
and he was still in good form when we got home,
so we sat in the backyard for a good while
with a tall drink of cold water.
Wow. wow.

the boys are in the pool at 8am on
a saturday morning and i doubt it
if that water is 70 degrees.

His whole will

we’re encouraged by the words of
betty scott stamm, the faithful
missionary, today:

“Lord, I give up all my plans and purposes,
all my own desires and hopes,
and accept Thy will for my life.
I give myself, my life,
my all utterly to Thee.
Do what You will with me.
Work out Your whole will in
my life at any cost, now and forever.”

cory made us the most delicious
french toast for mother’s day sunday
morning today. and he looks terrific.

thanks to jules & lisa for our
date night out last night.

wknd brain release

the perfect new york baby gift, flat high-chair

brit introduced me to the british mag, LivingEtc.,
a few years ago & it’s hands down my favorite.
they just went online (hardcopy is better,
but i know they’ll get the hang of things soon)

twirly skirt details: so that’s how it’s done.
let’s get right on that; they’re adorable.

“chicki in di baski”
henry was laughing so hard that he drooled.
which made us laugh so hard we almost drooled.
almost.

thank you

another week,
another outpouring of kindness.
thank you for anticipating our needs,
for praying with and for us,
for carrying our burden in seen & unseen ways.

my (incomplete) list of thank you’s
includes laran, anne marie, ted & diane,
julie d, margaret k, sandi, ami, patricia,
justin, ryan & charis, darryle & dawn,
nicole choi, karen, michelle, cayley, kara & jen,
julia, lisa, the hinzmans’ and so many more of you…

may the Lord refresh you as
you have refreshed us.

1. caroline & ryan teamwork; kramer/cates scooterfest
2. lisa doesn’t think my projects are crazy; caroline hits the streets
3. betsy & honor; total yard overhaul

let the weekend begin

well, he got dressed today.
way too much information there?
not good enough for work,
but good enough to be upstairs for
most of the day.

family movie night tonight = e.t.
(the boys’ first viewing)
nathan cried, tender guy.

and daniel j is spending the night,
could our weekend be off to any
better start?

if the kids were this excited when we opened
the pool up last night (and played in it, dry, for
over an hour), imagine the elation when we
put a mere 4 in. of water in it today.
they ’swam’ for almost 2 hrs. betsy couldn’t stop
screaming with excitement.

cory as their permanent audience,
which the kids l o v e;
i think they forget he’s sick &
just think how great it is to have
him around so much

the beautiful sod, thanks to ted, andy & mr. morgan
(and of course, the mighty helpers ethan & henry);
and thank you to the hammons’ for all of these fun gifts

22 days until justin & anita’s wedding

okay, why is it like pulling teeth to get henry to recite
the Lord’s prayer but at dinner tonight,
he surprised us by busting out with a l l of the lyrics to
‘beans, beans, the magical fruit,
the more you eat, the more you toot,
the more you toot, the better you feel
so let’s have beans for every meal’?
and there wasn’t a bean in sight.

ps & more importantly

1. Dr. Drain-O rang last night.
i’ll let cory fill you in on what they discussed.

my nutshell: they think
it’s too dangerous to drain it,
dr. attiyeh thinks it’s too dangerous
to do open surgery to remove it
so they want to do this other procedure
that they described as ‘difficult’.
four-letter acronym. hmmm.
ersb? esrb?
basically they go in thru
the stomach, into the bile duct &
lacerate the sphincter
(que sphincterotomy-ectomy jokes)
so that if another stone passes
it can sashay right through.

it’s not a solution, just a preventative measure
to keep the gall stones at bay until they can
safely remove his ornery gb.

unfortunately, a potential side-effect of this
procedure…you guessed it. pancreatitis.
which would be Seriously Not Good
at this point.

so, there are decisions to be made on this one.
do it, don’t do it, what else to do.

2. specific prayer requests.
laran graciously reminded me that
you guys are praying & would like
to pray specifically. i will try to give
a few pointers as we go and you can
use your wisdom to ask what I
can’t think of.

-pancreas is still & does not aggravate itself
-pancreatic swelling subsides
-fluid collection stops growing & begins to disappear
-relief from the shooting pain that radiates
from his abdomen to his left shoulder
-gall stones sit tight & Do Not Move
-cory’s nutrition is sufficient to sustain him
and build his energy.
-wisdom re: the e_ _ _ surgery. we need to
call the doctor back.

we all fall down

instead of ‘good’ days and ‘bad’ days (so juvenile)
i should call them ‘A’ days and ‘B’ days
or ‘get-out-and-see-the-world’ days and
’stay-in-and-moan’ days.
(creative suggestions welcome)

today is a ‘black-circles-under-the-eyes &
regressed-sense-of-humor’ day
(more like: ‘it-hurts-to-laugh, so-don’t-make
him-laugh’ day. nathan felt bad because he
told cory a joke straight off & cory was
moaning in obvious pain from laughing and
then was trying not to laugh again because
nathan felt so badly at making him laugh.
vicious cycle indeed.)

but it’s a new normal, so i’m not surprised by this one.

each morning at the end of breakfast,
we read scripture (psalm 29 for today)
and sing a hymn (come, christians, join and sing)
and
then
we
Wrestle. (theologically-appropriate response to worship)

WrestleMaster is having a ‘B’ day, so
nathan quickly stepped in as ringmaster &
incited a down & dirty, rabble-rousing
version of ‘ring around the rosy’.

make that 15 rounds of it.
each one louder &
with a harder fall than the previous one.
laughter & squealing to wake the dead.

new normal is good
because the Lord is good.

7:41am



caroline feels most at home in her cowboy boots.
she has 2 pr, hot pink and shiny red.
sandals are okay for going out, but when she gets home,
a girl needs to slip into something more comfortable.

the new normal

cory caught me in an uncertain
moment yesterday afternoon,
cocked his handsome head and
spoke right to my thoughts when he said,
“we’re kind of in a ‘new normal’, babe.”

i can embrace that, a new normal.

not the exact rhythms of the
life we loved before,
but some new gentle interactions
with our cool dad & his tender abs.

and did i mention that he
made it to a second day at work?
home by early afternoon,
but a good morning at the office.
credit suisse & his very cool colleagues
have been exceptionally kind & accomodating.
thanks, guys.
ps – since he’s been out so long, maybe
he should bring donuts. not that it’s a policy.

7:31am, ‘new normal’ wrestling looks a bit different
from old normal; modified, but still a good belly laugh
(did i mention loud?) caroline peeps from behind cory’s back

‘old’ wrestling a couple of months ago; we’ll be there again one day. soon.

elvis has left the bldg

i have that nervous stomach similar
to when you send your preschooler
off for the first day of school.

cory is off to work after 5.5 wks out.
even for a few hours today, an accomplishment.

when it was time for him to go,
(we decided right after rush hour
might be skeletor’s best chance
at braving the subway)
cory saw that look in my
eye and said, “you’re not going to
take my picture.”

of course not, babe.
of course not.

and take an apple for the teacher, honey.

hurry up and wait

A surprising result from the Dr yesterday – we’ll talk and wait. The result will likely be that they do a diagnostic ultrasound (from my stomach) to determine if the pseudocyst is all liquid – if it is they can drain it, if not it may require an open procedure.

They were hesitant about the whole thing – since they would not normally try to do a procedure like this.  But they are considering it because it is in the way of removing my gall bladder which needs to be done as soon as possible to make sure I don’t have another episode.

Oh and if they did do the procedure it would be 4-8 weeks before they would remove the drains – so we’re not exactly talking about instant gratification.

And that is the current state of my belly. On a positive note I feel quite well and my strength and stamina are improving quickly.

mon night

not the best news from DrainO today.

nutshell: he’ll consult with the others
(not like those on Lost) and we’ll talk
to him on wednesday.

additional medical term for us today:
phlegmon? (i’m pretty sure i have the
wrong word or the wrong spelling;
sounds very ‘austin powers’ to me)
the idea that there may be tissue
(pancreatic tissue?) in the fluid makes
drainage risky & infection-prone.

i’d rather cory write this one in the morning;
i can’t exactly remember what he said &
he’s been asleep for a good while now and
my brain is foggy from a good, but long, day.

good night, friends.

hold the ketchup

note: missy & any other non-ER-tolerant friends,
skip the next paragraph.

cory’s pseudocyst/fluid-collection
is about the size of a
hotdog bun right now.
5.5 cm x 12 cm

which reminded cory of the
scene in ‘father of the bride’
where george banks rants about
hotdogs & hotdog buns not being sold
in the same quantities so he
rips the packages apart to make
them equal. i guess we won’t be
having gray’s papaya for dinner tonight.

DrainMan appt at 3pm today.
more later.

dashing man

cory looked dashing in his suit last night.
we stayed through the main course
and then cinderellla, er–superman,
gave me the high sign. by the time
we got to our 72nd street stop,
his face was the i-need-to-lie-down
color. good timing.

and a lovely night.

redeemer prom

redeemer is having their second-annual
members only dinner tonight. a congregational
meeting in the form of a posh & happy affair
at the metropolitan pavilion, on 18th st.
it’s 4pm and cory still thinks he’s up for it.
it would be his most major outing to date,
and i guess if cinderella gets weary, we can
grab a yellow pumpkin and scoot home.
we’ll see how it goes.

nathan just turned 8, so at his
annual physical last week he
clocked in at 4′ 8″ and 80 lbs.
my mom can wear his shoes.

about yesterday’s post, i may have spoken too soon.
surely this means your apartment
is entirely too small. no room for a
traditional fish bowl? you gotta nail
the little guy to the wall? oh my.

loyal army tshirts strike again

friday afternoon mental diversion

well, i’ve seen it all.
if your apt is so tiny you have
to collapse your flower vase,
you deserve this welcome mat.

ct results

for the squeamish:
-he’ll see a new doctor. they’ll chat. they might
accomplish something that might help him.

for the er/grey’s anatomy types:
-no shrinkage on the pseudocyst
-referred him to a ‘drainage guy’ (the real name
escapes me right now) at beth israel. consult on
monday, the subsequent visit will include a
sonogram through the stomach to see if the
pseudocyst is water (if so, they’ll drain it right
then) or not (they’ll go in another time and
begin drainage which can take 1-2 wks, drain
tube comes home with you)
-make new timeline on surgery after DrainMan
finishes with cory & we see how things shake out.

so that’s where we start.

this one day at a time business is a helpful, yet
control-thwarting, lesson to me right now.
i can’t predict how the next hour will go with cory.
he can feel good & then feel very badly.
he can feel very badly & then
rally and be upbeat & upright for an afternoon.
there doesn’t seem to be any consistent trend.
bad day + good night, good day + bad night,
good good, bad bad…who knows what is coming
next.

yesterday (thurs) was a mostly good day.
as he’s at dinner with us, sitting up and
even participating in the cheerful banter,
it turns bad. and it’s downhill from there (bad).
but then he slept soundly (good).
the Lord knows our days.
with that, here goes today…

a lady of leisure eats pistacios
(which i have shelled at her insistence to the detriment of my finger tips)
fake smiles, everyone! a perfectly ridiculous picture of a sweet evening’s backyard play. quick, caroline & betsy – please look away from the camera.
ps – see baby cherry in caroline’s arms? right after this, the boys convinced
her to play a ‘new’ game i’ll call ‘bomb the baby.’ the three of them spent the next 25 minutes taking turns to see how far they could throw her. at the end of it, i asked the
boys to take sweet cherry in and scrub off all of the mud, which confirmed their feelings of utter satisfaction with the newly invented game. they were very happy that she was so dirty. and she came surprisingly clean. and then i put her in the washer. thanks, cherry, for taking one for the team.

pps – thank you, melissa, charis & ryan, julie dienes, margaret, mark reynolds,
and cindy q, for yesterday’s help & delicious food. a really great day. and it does
take a good-sized village.

ppqrst – yes, busted. that’s a glue stick in betsy’s hand. i hide ‘em, she finds ‘em.
i didn’t even notice that one until right now in the photo. trickygirl.

early night

dr’s visit today was basic,
need to see the ct scan to
really assess things.

so, we’re early to bed tonight &
ct is at 11am tomorrow.

with our love,
kj & crew

ps – cory isn’t feeling great,
but is with-it enough to
be singing a goodnight song
to the boys.
to the tune of ‘twinkle, twinkle’:
stinky, stinky, diaper change
boy, my brother smells so strange
he did something in his pants
sure hope it won’t attract ants
stinky, stinky, diaper change
boy, my brother smells so strange.

it’s a classy joint.

pps – we’re all getting them, right?

nathan & daniel on the new
redeemer children’s ministry page.

oh, right

since my Center of Reason & Logic
is still compromised at this point,
i am glad i have my friends to remind
me of the ‘danger in extrapolation’…

namely, that 2 good days does
not a trend make.

he’s weaned back from the pain
meds but when he needs them
to stay down,
he needs them to stay down.
come on, little white pills.
be kind to him.

morning addition:
(at one point in the long night i commented that
it looked like a kiwi smoothie.
do you think that’s what made him
keep getting sick the rest of the night?
my tacky comment? whoops)

come on, waste 7 minutes

absolutely the pet for us:
let’s stitch frank

ultra mod watches
(c’s tissot died a water-logged death):
nixon watches

nathan, henry & i happily waste so
much time creating these:
mii creator and mii editor

and why does funky wallpaper make
me so happy? alas, there are too few walls
in a manhattan apartment.
wallpaper from the 70’s

wouldn’t you visit a library like
this one every day?

a good habit

a lot of things have gone down this
past month, one of the most signifcant
being how many people have prayed with
and for our family; at cory’s bedside,
with the kids, over email.

since cory has been home from the hospital,
his outing for the day (on good days)
is to saunter down to the news stand,
grab a paper & meander home.
(a stamina-building 3 blocks, roundtrip)

we were joining him on the walk this
morning & i paused for just a second
while putting their shoes on.
caroline, standing next to me,
anticipated my next action and said,
“oh, okay! i’ll pray.
dear jesus, please help
daddy. help him…” and so on.

i was just pausing to tie my shoe
and she read something much more
significant into the moment.
thanks, babe.

you know how at a party, people seem to congregate in the
smallest part of the apt? not infrequently, i’ll find all 4 kiddos just
chatting away in caroline’s toddler bed. i guess when 6 humans
peacefully(?) coexist in a one-bathroom apartment, closeness is
a happy necessity. (can you spot betsy?)