don’t ask, don’t tell

you don’t want to know what a
crazy dog did to my stroller wheel
while betsy is sitting right there in it &
i had just taken a pause in pushing
it to readjust something in the hood.
more like, a crazy owner let her
crazy dog do to my stroller wheel.
comeonnow!?! unbelievable. really.

and you don’t want to know what
i accidently let into our house when
i was carrying the garbage out
(from the backyard through the apt).
let me say this,
ted is fearless,
has lightning reflexes,
and caught it in a gladware?!
(will i ever be able to use gladware
again? they’re tainted for me now)
i am unspeakably grateful.

ps – h & c have colds that started last night.
what’s a girl to do?
nytimes, ‘ban sought on cold medicine for children’

the art of distraction

it’s indeed an art.

you know that set of
200 citywrites cards i
need to draw & fedex
by noon?

well, when i sat down to draw them,
i noticed how dusty my desk was.
obviously i can’t draw at a
dusty workstation.
so i went to get the windex.
and on my way to the closet
i remembered how much better
i work with music.
but when i looked at my stack of
cd’s, they were in such disarray.
how could i find sufjan stevens
when it was buried between
john lithgow & corinne bailey rae?
luckily i found the cd
but then forgot what i was
going for anyway.

so here i sit at a dusty desk
looking for the next
imperative activity
before i pick up
my pen and
begin
writing.

maybe i should blog about it.

‘the prayer of a righteous man’

my dear elders’ & pastors’ wives,

thank you for sharing your husbands
with our family tonight. from the
minute they walked in, their warmth
and care began melting my heart
and reminding me that we are,
in fact, in the Lord’s sovereign care.

bill invited us to read psalm 31 & 91,
aloud, in unison with them.
nathan’s young voice chiming
in with the men of faith
was special for me to hear.

john annointed cory with oil,
first reminding us that the oil itself
is not ‘magic’ but that it is a reminder
that God is real,
that his healing is real,
that we are being held up for
special attention before our Father.
(henry liked the ‘not magic’ part
and commented on it repeatedly as
i tucked him in bed afterward)

then they prayed for us.

with cory seated in the middle,
they laid their hands on him and
john, charlie, rob, bill,
ted, cade & eugene
each prayed in turn:

for cory’s healing,
for our family’s perseverance,
for the Lord to renew our faith,
to quiet our hearts with his love,
to turn our (my) tears of despair
into tears of joy.

henry & caroline put their hands
on their daddy, as well,
while nathan supportively rubbed my arm.

amen & amen.

my heart is quiet within me.
and my mind is grateful for their
vivid, human picture of the
strong arms of the Lord
in the shape of these godly men.

and one beautiful woman, priscilla.

thank you, ladies.
with love,
kjc

‘the prayer of a righteous man
is powerful and effective.’
james 5:16

those little words
every girl
loves to hear

‘henry’s playing with your
perfume in the back yard!’

and his shirt must
be coated in it
because that boy
smells
l o v e l y

(vera wang, it is)

(we need some levity after the last post, right?)

not the good news i wanted to write

okay, here’s where we are
on wednesday morning:

-the children’s lives continue almost
exactly as normal
(minus daddy & with a mom-under-pressure)
-cory’s life continues at a grinding halt

lying down isn’t good,
so the nights (& days) are a shuffle
between the bed & the couch.

i’m waiting for the scale to stop
registering a minus when he steps on.
just a steady hold.
that’s what i’m looking for.
we’ll work on gain when the freefall stops.

unfortunately, i had to make the
call to cancel our first fellowship group
of the season which was to meet tonight.
we need the fellowship,
but i can barely host us right now.

i’ve asked the elders to come and pray again.

thanks, cynthia, for all of your help today.

cory felt badly yesterday
and today has been even a bit worse;
i hate these fevers because it takes his
already-non-existent appetite and makes it
virtually impossible to eat.

this clip of extras will surely
bring a smile to his face
the next time he gets to a computer.
ricky gervais as a tv actor talking to his manager.

note on random timing:
the video was available last night
but this morning there’s a note
that the BBC pulled it for copyright reasons.
cory’s been laughing at this
clip for months now,
i share it with you & poof! it’s gone.

birthday logic (illogic?)

happy 5th birthday,
h e n r y !

henry outgrew his bike over the summer
so upon returning from colorado,
he’s been relying on ethan’s kindness
in sharing his bike; thanks, e.

so we stayed up after henry
went to sleep last night
assembling his New Bike
and hiding it in plain site,
ripe for birthday morning.

after the birthdaymorninghellos,
we’re all giddy & goading him
until he stumbles upon it.

his eyes grow large &
he’s obviously excited,
he turns and hugs nathan,
and
in the same breath,
he turns to us with big eyes
and says

AND,  justin gave me a DOLLAR!

and he runs back to his bedroom
to find said dollar.

okay, cool new bike vs one dollar?
evidently the dollar has equal billing
in the eyes of a newly five year old.

thanks, mom & dad cates,
he loves it.
trust me.
esp since i did about 45 min of
grief counseling as he had to
walk to the park yesterday
when nathan got to ride his bike.

semantic failings

ah, the daily playground schlep.
thus, playground lingo is essential.

most parks have succinct, obvious handles,
names a non-user could quickly work out:
train, 199,
classic, elephant,
river run,  hippo,
dino,  turtle,
buffalo, etc.

(as in, ‘let’s meet at classic at 4‘)

but what about 69th & central park west?

it always trips me up.
i seriously call it ’sixty-ninth-and-cpw’
which  fails to roll off the tongue.
or ‘the one with the water’
(they all have water)

?

some help here? 

well said

danny, cory’s middle brother,
said it well:
i keep waiting for you to
write that cory’s all better
and back to normal.

you & me both, babe.

and happy wedding-in-two-weeks;
we’re so glad aunt stacy is
joining the crazytrain–er, mix.

238

steps
from our front door
to the new
pinkberry
opening soon around the corner.

caroline and i counted.
we might be a tiny bit excited.

sing for joy where’er it flows

the soloist in church last night sang
a hymn i’d never heard.
(Grandma/stacy/chris/charis?
other hymn lovers?
is this familiar & i just missed it?)

it’s rolling through my heart this morning
as the girls & i skip thru the housecleaning.

see, from Zion’s sacred mountain
streams of living water flow,
God has opened there a fountain
that supplies the plains below.
they are blessed, they are blessed
who its sovereign virtues flow.

through ten thousand channels flowing
streams of mercy find their way
life and health and joy bestowing
making all around unstained
o believer, o believer
all thy sins are washed away.

gladdened by the flowing treasure
all enriching as it goes
lo the desert smiles with pleasure
buds and blossoms as the rose
ev’ry sinner, ev’ry sinner
sings for joy where’er it flows

trees of life the banks adorning
yield their fruit to all around
those who eat are saved from mourning
pleasure comes and hopes abound
fair their portion, fair their portion
endless life with glory crowned.

resident celebrity artists:
the clemente, queener & wolf kiddos
helped paint this taxi art.
way to go, guys; they look tres chic on the street.

operation betsy-sleeps-alone

ugh.

this is the week i am helping
betsy
give up her
blanket.

when she even sees her
sweet soft
pink-stripey
blanket
she begins to suck her thumb.

i accept full responsibility for
getting us here in the first place
(insert soundtrack of betsy’s cries &
the family’s eager response of ‘get her blanket!’)

but her little teeth are beginning
to take on the shape of her
angelic thumb.
double ugh.

so here we go,
wish me luck.

ps – cory and i decided that we’d
launder it & tuck it away unseen
in hopes that once the thumb sucking
subsides, she can enjoy her
sweet blanket in snuggly ways again.

because we know some of you, ahem cfs,
enjoyed their blankets well thru high school.

pps – her first ’solo’ nap this  morning
went just fine. a few wimpers at the
beginning and then
business as usual.
this may be easier than i thought

and the Lord knows i need
something
easy in my life just now.

rubber-made

the boys had a brilliant scooter crash
on the way home from church tonight.

really, it couldn’t have been choreographed
any more fantastically.

an older gentleman witnessed it first-hand
with us and he was the one to christen
it ‘brilliant‘ and followed it up with,
‘those boys are made of rubber!‘

74th & west end, 6:51pm

henry: aborts a shoot-the-duck-gone-awry and
goes down in a winding wipeout,
scooter goes left, he rolls right
nathan: coming in fast and hard
inadvertently aiming for henry’s head
which is suddenly on the ground directly in front
of him, puts his right foot down to
attempt to stop
henry: both arms go out in front of his
face and BAM! deflect the incoming scooter
nathan: manages to leap off the scooter,
jump directly over henry and land without falling
while his scooter soars in the reverse direction
together: after a split-second assessment
independently confirming,
‘hey, we’re alright!‘,
they LEAP up and run at us,
amazement pouring from their lips
DIDYOUSEETHAT?! DIDYOUSEETHAT?!
IPUTMYHANDSOUTTOBLOCKTHESCOOTER!
and so and on.

the amused gentleman, with his hand over his heart,
eyes as wide as ours and a big smile spreading over his face,
says what we were thinking…

that was brilliant!

nj or bust

we had such a lovely evening
in south orange at the svanes’
beautiful new home.
thank you!

ps – not many people dare
invite a family of 6 for dinner.
they are courageous souls,
torkel & suzi,
and we’re very grateful.

passports, check
extra batteries, check

we draw the line at canned goods.

in other words,
we’re going to NJ this afternoon.

we’ll let you know when we
return safely.

remembering a happy week with mom and dad:

sound of music urban-style

i think it’s better that i don’t speak german
while enjoying this bit of ikea tv
(click on ‘dann klick hier’ and then on ‘zur show’)
make sure you see robert walking on the conveyor belt.
brilliant ridiculousness.

10:38am

on an overcast saturday morning:

1. cory, henry & ethan painting plaster bugs in the back yard
2. betsy sweeping the deck
3. nathan building a ‘moving space platform’ for
express use on the moon with ‘every lego in the bucket’
which could take awhile
4. caroline playing dress up with jane upstairs
5. i’m not going to tell you what i’m doing right now because
it will sound like a pity party.
(you know the tune, laundrylaundrydishescleanup…
and obviously i’ve taken a break to hug my mac & type this to you)

so i’ll tell you the before-10:38am-part of my morning
which included a happy breakfast out back with the fam,
‘go tell it on the mountain‘ as the morning’s hymn,
watching the children howl over youtube excerpts of old
muppets videos that cory found
(swedish chef, buster doing barbara streisand, etc) and
enjoying some ephesians.

ps – a gajillion thanks to carrie love
(or ‘carrie lovely‘ as harry so aptly christened her)
for making yesterday so, well, lovely.

pps – and cjl also showed me what i’m missing on youtube -
flight of the conchords excerpts + demetri martin comedy.
i needed a good laugh.

ppps – karen, you angel you. thank you.

pppps – happy birthday, houston & hank

and the skinny on mr. skinny:
he made it to work 4 out of 5 days, all but yesterday,
about 3 hrs each day.
yesterday was 90% horizontal + 98% nauseated.
today might be better than yesterday.

eat my words

who was i just talking to about our local
public library? about how the children’s
section was literally half empty-
row upon row of empty shelves
where children’s books should’ve been?
(the locals know what i’m talking about)

a hurting library makes me feel like
i have a wounded lover
(wait, a minute, i do have a wounded lover;
maybe i’ve taken this analogy too far)

anyway, i need to eat my words.

thanks to an invigorated library staff
(two new hires at least),
they spent august going through the
existing collection, weeding out books,
reorganizing the space physically,
and
building
the
collection

when we went in yesterday,
we (happily) didn’t know where to begin.

all of the shelves are full.

the books are in glorious order.
the seasonal/holiday books have been given
prime real estate and
they’ve put loads of award winners
(with noticeable wear, but still very usable)
in a ’sale’ area and we were able to
bring a few home for mere pennies;
a win-win for everyone.

what a liter-ari-lly happy day.

the moonwalk is evidently more fun if you
get to ride it up & down (inflating/deflating)
if miss tracy can find the on/off button, that is

backyard battle

four kids
in full dress-up gear
(power rangers masks, capes for all & improvised tinkertoy swords)
in the back yard right now
savoring the sweet minutes before school

and the boys are putting words
in everyone’s mouths
“say, ‘power to the green ranger!’ “
“say, ’supermega battle robot!’ “

the girls are loving being
a part of the SuperTeam
so they’ll enthusiastically say anything right now

(the lights may be out but i’m still awake)

this past week has felt hard to me.

i was waiting to write until
i had something optimistic to report.

dr’s visit today:
dr. chabot said that cory should really start
to regain strength in the next three weeks.

and affirmed that his current status is in the
‘acceptable’ realm.
though his fevers & symptoms give
concern for infection, that the risk
for major infection is already past,
so we’ll just keep an eye on this.

he’s down another 10lbs since
leaving the hospital.
(i think this brings a grand total of
-46 since the onset of this thing;
we’ll need to have new photos taken
for his modeling portfolio)

he enjoyed 4 hrs at work today.
i think it’s good mentally for him.
but between the dr’s office & work,
he took 6 trains today
which makes me uneasy;
a gust of wind could blow this boy over.

i’m ready to move past this tedious phase &
feel like we’re really in recoverymode.

please pray that i will persevere in
the Lord’s strength,
that discouragement will not have a
place in my heart &
that the children will continue to
be patient, as well.

jack & jill-ish

mental snapshot of this morning:
caroline, betsy, luke, annie, peter & john
rolling tumblebumble down the
lazy green slopes
at wave hill,
laughing, laughing

a blissful morning.

cory went to work for 3ish hours mon & tues,
had an appt with his surgeon today &
is back at work now
(i haven’t yet heard how the dr’s visit was)

his days end early in this recovery season
but last night was an all time record as we turned
out the last light & were under the covers at
7
:
4
5

oh, my.
come on, strength gain!
come on, his-old-self!

my heart is on a plane to colorado

hooray for mom & dad;
we’ll miss you and we love you.

(and ryan & paula are on an almost-simultaneous
flight to vancouver on holiday; happy vacation)

we four had to play candlelight-dominoes in the
backyard without m&d tonight.
after so many weeks of playing games with them
almost every single night, it felt really lonely to me.
happy, but missing their laughter.
they can get the boys howling. h o w l i n g.

c’s fever broke yesterday afternoon
and hasn’t returned today.
whew.
and he was upright most of today and
even came to the park with us.

thanks for your helpful offers re: crack-of-dawn-soccer.
caroline will watch cartoons with jane tomorrow morning,
i’ll put betsy down for a morning nap which cory can ‘cover’
and
nathan, henry and i will have a happy soccer morning.
done.

good night, friends.

ps – (missy & any other squeamish friends, avert your eyes)
c’s color is still off.
is it just sick-pale?
hope it’s nothing more than that.
nothing to do with the 1/2 full bag o’ poison
they left to drain into his stomach, right?
(did we mention they didn’t empty it completely,
but left half of it to push its way out ‘naturally’?
seriously gross in my book.)

pps – you know cory’s going to call me
sappy sapperson for this post.
i can take the heat.

between you & me,
i just don’t see much (any?) progression
in c’s recovery this week.

we’ll ring the doctor this morning,
but he’s been running a fever
off and on since sunday (today is thurs),
his pain is still surprisingly present & consistent,
and when he walks, it’s tip-toey and bent over.

(caroline was working on the letter c
yesterday and we decided that daddy
resembled a c-shape.
it seemed funny then.)

the initial look of things had
me incredibly hopeful for a
’speedy’ or even ’steady’
comeback.

but…?
hmmmm.

you know what i’m thinking:
mom & dad fly home tomorrow.

their help has been incredible.
cannot be understated.
they have outdone themselves (as usual)
with kindness, laughter, and care in every sense.

so do pray that i can do this without them.
and by this i mean helping cory + the 4-kid-circus-act.
(for ex: soccer at 8:30am on sat.
do i drag everyone with me to the north meadow?)

but he said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
II cor 12:9

i look forward to a ‘perfect’ weekend, then.

(n & h are off school thurs & fri
due to rosh hashanah,
a 4-day wknd)

lemonade, revisited

quality control check & daddy’s watchful perch inside


beware when the employees get bored

friendly support from paige & benton, rachel, samantha, trey & logan

catechism, adjusted

while tucking a sleepy girl in last night…

kj: caroline, who made you?
c: God.
kj: what else did God make?
c: you pretty

love that girl

our hearts are full.
f u l l.
the house is full of laughter,
cory’s eyes were brimming with tears.
we are SO glad to have the girls back.
and mom & dad.

his love keeps no record of mine

sean wrote & sang this song in church tonight.
thanks, s.

his love

tell me about your sleepless nights
i relate to every word you’ve said so far
i know the feeling all too well
of helplessness and questioning
i’m no philosopher
but i’ve been through this before

you had told me all about mistakes you made
and that you’re placing blame upon your younger days

would it help to know that Jesus loves you?
it don’t matter who you are
and his love is always patient, always kind
and his love keeps no record of mine

there are still nights of agony
i won’t kid you with these promises of bliss
but i swear to you his presence
overwhelms me when i cry to him
and it’s comforting to feel his permanence

and if i told you all about mistakes i’ve made
maybe then you’d see that we’re no different grade

would it help to know that Jesus loves you?
his love won’t fade with time
and his love is always patient, always kind
and his love keeps no record of mine

ps – just one more reason you should come to the 5pm service.

sweet caroline

happy 3rd birthday,
c a r o l i n e

we can’t wait to celebrate
with you in person.
they fly in on monday, the 10th

and welcome back, kristie!
after a month helping at an orphanage in tanzania

dr. and dr. cates

i’ve earned my official ‘dr’ status
as today was my first attempt at
mastering the
rug
doctor

doctor, indeed!
it takes no talent
but truckloads of perseverance
(emptying those buckets of ucky water)

loved it.
seriously impressed with the results.
even did the couches.

thank you, amsterdam hardware;
well worth the $35 for a day’s entertainment.

ps – yes, henry had his 2nd full day of school today;
with both boys in school & the girls with mom and dad,
what was i supposed to do with all that free time?
oh, the pressure.

not so frankensteiny

sans-staples, cory is well on his way
to being a normal human being again.

he kept commenting on how the
staples were really ‘tickly’.
now his stomach looks less crazy,
more healing-y.

the dr’s visit went well today.
10 days post-op, he’s down 10 additional lbs;
we’re trying to put some meat on this boy.
skeletor returns.

baby laura is in the house!
we rejoice with the morgans.

having just nathan & henry this week
has been so civilized.
easy? straightforward & fun?
what’s the right way to put it?
more bike riding & no doll-playing.

one main difference has been that
meals have involved my actually sitting down
for the entire time and enjoying the full course
of juvenile conversation.
having cory home full-time is icing on the cake.

homecoming for laura morgan

it looks like baby laura
may come home tomorrow
(friday)

thank you for your continued prayers
for laura, for ted & diane, for ethan & jane.

255 w 70th is waiting with
arms wide open.

to celebrate the first day of school

his sign read:
“lemonade
50 cents a glass
free refill”

the enthusiastic girl in the patriotic shirt brought
six friends over the course of n’s 2 hrs out front.
he gave her ‘preferred customer’ status = free lemonade.
good business 101

$22.50 total proceeds
$1 ea to henry & harry, his cheerful assistants*
$6 to the bowery mission
$4.50 for lemonade supplies
$$ to burn a hole in his pocket

*who might have gone through 15-18 disposable
cups between them, drinking & spilling the product
and having a grand time of it.
loudly proclaiming,
“we don’t have to pay,
we’re the owners!”
and gleefully counting customers,
“you’re number nine!”

we miss them so much it hurts

and cory’s steadily progressing.
a few naps, a little stroll;
probably similar to what we’ll be doing
oh, 60 yrs from now.

elvis is in the building.
255 west 70th, that is.

hotdog!

laura christine morgan

congrats to diane & ted!

welcome,
sweet
laura christine
last night, 10:20pm
6lbs 7oz

join us as we pray for her little lungs;
she’s in the nicu now.
we can’t wait to have her at home.

and happy birthday to
wendy s & charlotte k

my brother & sister-in-law and
their scuba addiction;
i’m rather envious.
katie at 60′ below
off the coast of okinawa, japan:

sin fiebre?

if he doesn’t have a fever
before 6pm,
he’s
home
free

hope to post good news later.

thanks to dad cates for
spending the week helping us;
have a good flight home.