an old-fashioned dtr

can i just say
that c & i had one of
the top three
Most Significant Conversations
in our relationship on sunday night
after church.

the hilights:
acknowledging that btwn march 31 & now,
it’s been a difficult season,
that we’re mostly through said season,
and
c asking me to relenquish some of
the burdens/jobs/concerns i had been
shouldering on his behalf
(MajorExhale followed by LoadsOfTears, happytears),
and a good long prayer time
thanking the Lord for where we are now
and for carrying us through this.

can you see the spring in my step from there?
i feel like tigger.

oh, the Lord is indeed good to us.

sometimes this season felt like,
though he slay me,
yet i will trust in him.
job 13:15

and other times like,
be still and
wait patiently for
the Lord.
psalm 37:7

but today
i’m humming a new tune
that sounds more like
i am confident of this:
i will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
psalm 27:13

whew.

and thank you.
thank you, friends,
for carrying us, walking with us,
praying us through this season.

thank you.

urban spooks

we love trickortreating with the jennings.
this is our third (fourth?) year to
stroll on spook patrol together.

okay, so it’s much more benign than it sounds:
we walk up broadway
hitting the crazy haunts,
like starbucks, mcd’s, gigi cafe,
grom, subway, you get the idea,
and then we hit the motherlode
(aka. the jennings bldg).

our imaginary awards go to:
-cosi, best treat (the lg. cookie!)
-beard papa’s, all employees in costume

crunchtime downtown

oye, all the lost jobs.
this is one of those seasons
when i hate
reading the headlines
and talking to friends
who are nervous about
their jobs.

happy birthday,
bebe,
chris w,
laran &
danny

ps – guess who got a nose ring?
pps – it’s not me.

the right reverand

ordination-congrats, michael!
and the reverand’s missus, sara.

we love you
and pray that the Lord
will give you good courage
as you preach the Word,
in season & out of season.

snipclip

and voila, i am offline.

a little bandit
armed with scissors
took one well-aimed
snip at my mac cord.
buhbye.

maybe my handsome husband
will swing by the apple store
on his way home today?
prettyplease.

(so i’m relegated to using the boys’ computer;
who remembers why it’s the boys’ computer?
class? bueller?
remember what the screen looks like?!
i have to keep moving the window around so
i can see thru the cracks. nice.)

‘never go with a hippie
to a second location.’
-jack donaghy

boy, we’re glad 30rock is back.

heckle-free

tonight we watched ‘hoot’,
nathan’s choice at flicks.
it had several recognizable stars,
including luke wilson,
but the movie was
so
difficult to watch–as an adult–
with a straight face.
drama. drama. those poor owls!

cory & i wanted to go all
mysterysciencetheatre3000
on it and just heckle away.

but the boys liked it.
so we had to hold back our
chuckles & jeers.

and actually, if you have animal-loving kids,
you may need to rent it and then we
can vent together.

‘legitimate’ lunch food

evidently in henry’s world
sushi + (homemade) yogurt smoothies
do not equal
lunch

for several hours,
btwn lunch & dinner,
he kept articulating this
complaint that he
had not had
real
lunch today.

last night was nathan’s first
cub scouts honor ceremony.
he earned 2 badges and
our whole family went forward
to say the ‘parent pledge’
and be inducted into the pack.

we loved it.
what a great group of people,
pack 664 + their families.
and it meets at rutgers presbyterian,
so it couldn’t be more convenient.

we’re proud of you, njc.

spare five minutes?

come on, it’s friday.

i invite you to join me in
blowing off some collective mental-steam
by wasting 5 minutes this way:

2.5 min =
you need to know that you can look at the
new yorker cartoons online every week.
probably the Most Important Five Minutes
you will spend on the internet each week.
at least in my book.
(see the right column where ‘cartoons’ is in red? click next to it)

1 quick glance =
i look at this list, oh, about twice a week.
where has it been all my life?
ny times simple meals ready in 10 minutes

30 sec just to glance & then you’ll spin
off your own ideas in your head =
let’s make some: mini-books

1.5 remaining minutes =
i crave creative outlet.

and vicarious creativity can be satisfying, too.
i don’t have much time for
internet voyeurism these days
(not like when i had a full-time job,
but don’t tell tuck & louise)
but there are specific places
in specific order
that i do go when i get a minute.

and they transport me to that
happy
creative
place

1. swissmiss
2. shim & sons
3. orangebeautiful’s the scoop

and if i still have time, better living through design

y tu?

m-squared

missing morven,
that’s what we’re doing today

and it’s just like in the movies:
it’s raining outside & we’re all lined
up by the windows,
head in hands,
looking wistfully out the window
with flashbacks of a fantastic 15-day visit
dancing thru our heads.

something like that.
we love you, mc & jw.

and, seriously, their wedding is seven little
weeks away, so we’re comforted by the fact
that we’ll get to enjoy them again soon.

and we’re looking forward to seeing other
scots that we’ve missed,
including lewis & louise and mark & gill.

dancelikeyoujustdon’tcare

tilt your head to the right,
turn on the sound &
watch a little betsydanceparty.

with cameos by nathan, caroline & adam k.

jonathan wraight (aka. mr. morven) on guitar;
he’s en route back to scotland &
i’m already fielding lots of
‘is jonathan coming back tomorrow?’
‘will jonathan be here for dinner?’
grief counseling 101 will commence at breakfast;
we’ve loved getting to know you.

see you later, alligator

basically what the doctor said to cory today.

on track,
on target,
and he gained almost 5lbs.

so sayonara, special surgeon
and
hello, normal person doctor.

we like normal.

ps – this cracked me up. nosoupforyou!
girl talk story

6′4″ of upright stamina & goodness

cory is doing so well.
so well.

since the elders came and prayed,
he has been fever free &
gaining stamina every day.

his work schedule &
bedtime are mostly back to normal.

he sees his doctor this morning
and we look forward to an
on-track report.

can you hear us singing?
‘oh, the Lord is good to me
and so i thank the Lord
for giving me the things i need
the sun and the rain and the
apple seed,
the Lord is good to me.’

we are very thankful to the Lord
and to this community for
carrying our burden in such
tangible ways over the past seven months.

apt 1 quirky note: we like to change
‘apple’ to people’s names.
in this case, we’d sing ‘cory-seed’

they’regettingmarried par-tay

engagement soiree
for j & m on sunday

all of these friends managed to
keep a straight face when they
saw morv last week, knowing
full-well about the upcoming
surprise that was flying her way.

and then we all walked to worship together;
i wish every party could end like that.

their wedding will be
15 december 2007
aberdeen, scotland

then they’ll honeymoon in new zealand
and then move to perth, australia,
where they plan to be for 2 yrs
(jonathan is an e.r. doctor)
nyc after that? i’ll start my campaign.

calling any grandparents
who might be available
to come watch 4 precocious–er, precious–
children so that said parents could
scoot off to the uk for the celebration?

‘feel my ballet’

she likes me to admire her
soft skirt while she twirls about,
‘oh, it’s so silky, honey‘

marked improvement

henry has started joining us
for worship in church,
or bigchurch as the kids call it.
just before the sermon,
the children are dismissed
to realchurch with their peers.

of course, when the adults in
bigchurch stand to sing,
junior pew-goers are left
standing in a sea of belt buckles,
unable to see anything more than
a foot away, contributing to
henry’s general squirminess
in the pew last sunday.

effort no. 1 in trying to improve
his worship-ability:
practice church
with morven as worshipleaderperson
and real bulletins.

i must say, his behavior was
a+ perfect this week.
and he got a cookie from the cookieroom
to celebrate.
and hot chocolate.
there was that much improvement.

ps – morven was channeling scott c
as her worshipperson example, making up
a story about her ’son ezra’ to entice henry
to really listen. so morv, cory & i choked
back giggles when scott started
worship this week with, ‘my son, ezra…‘
and
henry’s eyes bugged out.

enjoying the Lord’s day in apt 1.

pier 70

+ a little rolling down the big hill

new & improved, for now

we’re always evaluating
who-needs-more-space
and who-can-be-cozier,
whose-toys-need-new-homes
and whose-trophies-need-a-shelf;
the ever-evolving home.

presenting
chez cates
fall 2007

we put the ‘bed’ in ‘bedroom.‘ -c. cates
80 sq feet of masterbedroom coziness

the sleepy shuffle:
our bedroom is now across from the office
and the girls have a happybig
bedroom/playroom/kitchen downstairs
which also doubles as a guest room.

we extended the boys built-in bookshelves
and added wide horizontal light blue stripes
to the walls, changed the bedding
to tall ships – much more grownup, eh?

taking full advantage of cory’s
mid-summer ‘i’m feeling good’
pre-surgery attitude,
we really packed in the projects.
the boys are v. proud of building
their own bookshelves.

i’ll snap some pictures of
the girls room soon.

grandaisy bakery opened
at 72nd & broadway, mmmmm.
we’ll have to watch out for
the freshman 15.

mr. morven

as caroline called him,
but more accurately,
it’s morven’s mister

that’s right, jonathan wraight is
in the house.

morven’s mister flew ’round
the world today (from tanzania,
where he hopped off mt kilimanjaro–
‘kili’ to those in the know–
to make the trek here)
to surprise her
and
to propose to her.

he surprised her
in central park
in the rain
(‘mind if i share a bit of your umbrella?’
in a gentle scottish brogue)

and
she
said
yes!

he brought a mostbeautiful stone with him,
tanzanite straight from the source.
they’ll have it set in scotland.
the purpleblue gem is just stunning.

more later,
we’re all exhausted,
but very, very happily so.

ourlittlejustin, allgrownup

happy 32nd, joosteenoh.
is anita the cutest?! (aka. mrs. cassity)
and morven made pumpkin+black bean soup
from our very favorite once upon a tart cookbook.
which has my penciled note from 2004,
‘nathan loved it’.

ps – guess who was promoted to assoc. dean @ columbia today?!
jgc, of course. way to go, dean cassity.

subtle reminder

i’ve just informed cory
that i’m taking $1
out of his wallet
each time i find his
dress socks in little
balls in the laundry.

barney’s, anyone?

ps – lest we shed collective
tears on cory’s behalf:

he’s a grown-up man,
handsome & able-bodied (!),
and
he
has
been
(gently & repeatedly)
warned.
this is no first-time offender.

pps – cory has requested that
i add ‘hot’ to the list of his
physical characteristics.
duly noted, o humble husband.

morven’s magic

one of my favorite forms
of morvenmagic is:
those little words she
says in the morning that
make all the difference

’shall i put the kettle on?’

(well, it’s ‘poot’ which rhymes with ‘foot’)

she has this way about her that
just puts us all at ease & makes
us laugh and relax in her presence.
and the boys are endlessly amused
with her scottish pronunciation.

i did have to stop her yesterday,
look at her face (an attempt to
read her lips) and ask her to
‘repeat that, in english?’

and the stories she tells of when
they were little make them
cackle hysterically.
(between morven, cory, and my cousin, heather,
lies all of my oral history.
they’ll tell a story and i’m like,
oh, yeah! i remember that.
and they’re like,
nathan’s birth?! you should remember that)

her godliness abounds.
her patience knows no limits.
(family of 6? no problem)

i’ve always suspected a halo under
that pretty brown hair of hers &
bet that one day she’ll just vaporize and
we’ll know she was an angel among us.

a sleepy show of support

it’s been an early morning for me,
filling citywrites orders &
going thru the usual paperwork
without small hands wanting to ‘help.’

caroline came out of her bedroom
a bit ago and gave me a sleepy hug.

i told her it was still the middle of the
night, so she needed to go back to
bed or go snuggle with daddy
(who might appreciate a warm body
since i’m out here).

instead, she curled up at my feet
on the rather cold-ish office floor
and has gone back to sleep.
in her jammies & her belle costume.
a little poof of yellow-tulle glory
asleep near my chair.

what a simply marvelous way to start this day.

run, don’t walk

[a delightful recommendation
from our favorite amandafriend]

to 380 broome street
on october 18, 2007
for the grand opening of
papabubble, nyc

amanda & ryan stumbled upon the original
one in barcelona this summer.
barcelona? que bella.

“i know that it is all the way down in soho,
but it is soso worth your time” -awh

or take the ny times’ word for it

people hanging from the walls

i bet we can think of 100 ways to use this
thing in a new york apartment.
shoot, we could sleep 20 here in apt 1.



‘dream door‘ via pan-dan

our beautiful cathy ross

our longtime, very good family friend,
cathy,
died unexpectedly this morning.

those words are stunning me
on the screen.

mark, chad & heather,
we love you.

(cathy/becky/aunt kat/mom.
that’s how i think of mom and
her three dearest friends.
in one breath.
all of your names happily smooshed together.
we will miss you, cathy.)

isgeorgewearingeyeliner?

first post-op date night last night
(thank you, morven);
+ we had those stadium seats
where the arm rest raises
so you can snuggle up,
making the whole evening worth it.
(yet our feet were glued to the
floor with spilled soda)

anyway, we saw ‘michael clayton‘
cool cinematography
interesting character study
did we like it? yes-ish,
yes.
i think so, yes.

tilda swinton & tom wilkinson
gave strong, if squeamish,
performances.

i’m so glad to have a boyfriend again.

don’t do it

when someone invites you to play
your first ’settlers of catan’ game
just
say
no.

it’s addicting.
addicting.
you can’t stop thinking about it.
and when your 8 yr old beats
you & 2 other adultswithbrains
(namely, cory & morven)
you’ll feel all kinds of insulted.
and demand
rematch
after
rematch.

oh, just spare yourself.

ps & sshhh – raise your hands if you
want to come and play with us.

pps – if you are already
snared in the web,
you surely don’t want to
know that you can
play online.

joy in my doorway

one of my favorite things about
being in new york
and living in this particular house,
within this specific upper west side community,
is the faces of people who pop ’round,
bringing cheer and encouragement,
news of the outside world,
and a helping hand.
(or a good laugh & a ‘lightly-iced shrek cookie’?)

i am very thankful for who the Lord
has provided in the last couple of days:
julia
carrie
cynthia
brit
paula & ryan
anita beth, gracie & addie
sandi
isabella
cayley
morven, of course
ethan
daniel & ashley

thank you, friends.
(are you blushing?)

the Lord knows that this stay-at-home mom
needs loads of friends to help her actually
stay-at-home,
cheerfully.

ps – you’re next. come on over.

cates’ gym

lie on your back on the floor
and pretend your children are
barbells.

here’s how much better
cory is feeling these days;
his workout today included:

10 betsys
10 carolines (2 reps of 5)
3 henrys
1-ish nathan (too much laughing for proper form)

we’re moving in a good direction.

wondertwinpowersactivate

so, cynthia & henry were playing
top trump, a brilliant little card
game morven brought over
from the uk, which we’ve already
invested hours playing.

they were talking about the different
transformers pictured on the cards
and cynthia quipped,
‘i wish i could turn into any shape‘

henry turned his big eyes to her
and quickly replied,
‘well, you should just ask the Lord.
he’ll help you!’
and returned to the cards.

don’t do it

i am grateful for kk’s words to us
yesterday re: anxiety & fear…

when we are anxious,
obsessing about a certain situation,
examining it mentally in great (excruciating) detail,
but
failing
to envision
God’s grace
that will be there in that situation.

no grace + stressful situation = massive anxiety

oye.
that’s not a game i want to play any longer.

from the lips of

morven reminded us of one afternoon
a few years ago
when she asked nathan
if he had a nickname.

he smoothly replied,
“some people call me ‘dog’.”

?

this morning, caroline was delighted
that the song was going to be A
(aka amazing grace) and chirped,
‘I know that one!‘
and began singing it…

to the tune of
‘trick or treat, smell my feet…’

nice.

enough already

before school most days,
henry generates some
version of this one:
i’ve gone to school so many
days already. when am i
ever going to be in the
first grade? have i gone
enough already? again?
i have to go again today?
we’ll have fun if i just stay
home with you.

technical note:
his entire school career thus far
consists of approx. 35 days.

nathan, 3rd grade

henry, kindergarten

midnight hint

caroline,

when you’re sneaking up to our
room in the middle of the night,
you should probably leave your
fancy shoes/cowboy boots
by your own bed.

the clack-clack-clack on the
wood floor is a
dead
giveaway.

better luck next time,
mom

i just do

i love fellowship group.

i love that we have dinner together.
i love the new faces.
i love the familiar faces.
i love praying together,
worshipping together,
talking about God’s glory
and discussing scripture.

i love fg.
i just do.

ps – there are still some people out there
who remember my first night in a redeemer fg,
(karen, helen, nancy, courtenay,
susie, david, susan, angie, rie…)
at david rowe’s apt at 109/bway.
and i just quietly cried
thru the whole thing. i thought i wouldn’t find
other christians in new york city.
i was desperate for fellowship,
for believing friends.

and
there
you
were.

and all i could do was cry.
to myself.
so thankful to be sitting there
in your midst.
even if you thought i was a
nutcase with tears streaming
down my face.
(no, really, i’m happy)

and here we are 11.5 yrs later,
with wednesday nights bringing
an apt full of believing friends.

oh, the goodness of the Lord.

pps – remember how loud the radiator
was in that apt?! it was like someone
was beating it repeatedly with a hammer.
and they acted like they didn’t even hear it.
maybe they actually didn’t.

now i’m the one who probably doesn’t hear it.

self-hype mississippi-style

pb was in the house, again, this morning.
last week, obedience.
this week, weakness.
(is she reading my diary?
you know, my imaginary diary?)

she read a funky passage,
II cor 12:1-10
and reminded
me
that
God loves me.

God loves me when my husband is sick,
God loves me when my husband is well.
God loves me when my burden is heavy,
God loves me when my days seem light.
God can’t NOT love me.

It’s against his nature to be anything
but loving to me, anything but good.

she followed that with the
good news that
He refuses to leave me to myself,
He came to save me from myself,
and he starts by
knocking out
my self-reliance.

“you’re not suffering for greater things,
you’re suffering to make you great.
you are the greater thing.”

but she really brought it home
when she told us about the girl
in her high school who would
walk down the halls shouting
out this charming, if not humble, chant:

boom
boom
quack
quack
i can’t stand my
pretty self

ps – seriously. you choose the granny
you want to knit your socks & they
sell them online. strange & curious.

kilo juliet charlie, my handle

we have a handful of books
on our shelf that remind us of
my brother,
‘uncle scott’ (marine pilot, ch-46 sea knight)
and cory’s brother,
‘uncle jacob’ (jr. year @ the naval academy)

military aircraft +
alpha bravo charlie (military alphabet)
were caroline’s
bedtime choices tonight.

(m.a. being, oh, 400 pgs long,
talk about a pageflipper)

do you know how much i love you two?
400 cheerful-ish pgs worth.

ps – happy birthday, diane
happy birthday, justin

pps – cynthia’s first day of her
first RealJob today.
i had a nervousyfeeling stomach on her behalf.

ppps – try the instant shirt removal
under ’see more sprintcuts’.
we all were racing, trying it out.
nathan was the fastest,
but betsy laughed the hardest.

pppps – only one more sleep before
m o r v e n
arrives,
which makes me too excited to
actually sleep.

pirouette dreams

tuesdays are special for caroline.

since ballet is right after nap time,
she gets to put on her ballet clothes
before
nap time.

so she flits around the house
and plops into the duvet
happy
happy
in head-to-toe pinkypink
with visions of
charlotte, brennan &
ms. suzanne in her little head.

tuesdays are special.

what more?

we flew to dallas this wknd
for danny & stacy’s wedding
(cory’s middle brother,
caroline was the flower girl)

i think i’ve changed my mind
about flights + children:
i think the 2-leg thing may be
preferable to the direct-flight thing:
after an hour & a half with a lap baby
(loveyoubetsy) i ran out of tricks.
and there were almost 2 hrs left to go.

on the driving part of the trip,
this billboard left me curious:

on one side it has a picture of
two cows (painted, artistic-looking)
and on the other side,
(also painted & artistic-looking)
a picture of a beautiful, almost elegant, woman.

and the sign read,
‘more than just a feed store.
brighton.
exit 55′

?
i keep thinking about it.
what are they advertising?
and what, by gum, are they selling?

cometoJesus

boy, paige preached it this morning.
talk about a cometoJesus meeting.
this one was a heart-melter &
a teary-eyed (mine, not hers)
talk about the work of our sweet Savior.
thanks, friend.

{sin is its own consequence. ouch.}

after school, we grabbed the boys’
bikes and rode down to the
tippyend of pier 70.

the 5 of us stretched out on the benches
and shared some juicy oranges
and sweet raisins in the sunshine.

mr. buddy, an elderly pier-regular
who travels from the east side for the view alone,
was in a cheery, encouraging mood.
(he’s very complimentary to the kids,
talking to them like adults, and
they sort of puff up a bit at his recognition)

the childish (not in a bad way) conversation
turned to the coast guard tugboat
parked in front of us, anchored quite
in the middle of the hudson river.

i nonchanlantly asked nathan to
tell us anything he knows about
the coast guard.

he busts out with their motto,
always ready,
that they care about enforcing the laws
as well as pollution issues
and
wraps up with what they might be
concerned with in this
specific location
(‘vessel’ speed limits,
parking/docking issues &
civilian safety).

?!

i looked at him with this wow-look
and he shrugs
and says,
‘that’s what happens when you read a lot.’
and continued on with his orange.

rachel is famous

so, rachel & jim are strolling around london,
part research/part holiday,
and they see a mob of
photographers swarming a presumed celebrity.
they catch a glimpse, realize it’s our very own mayor
and jim gives a hearty ‘mayor bloomberg!‘,
half expecting him to nod & keep on walking.

instead, mayor b comes over to them
journalists in tow, flashing away,
seizes on the whole
‘new yorkers in london‘ bit
and makes them the object of his photo op.
quizzing them on their lives,
their time in london,
introducing them to the head of the london underground,
the whole nine yards.

there’s a photo for your wall, baby logan
(esp if b-berg runs for prez)

shinynasty

henry: mom!mom! we killed a fly with our hands!
kj: congratulations, hon. was it gross or was it cool?
h: it was shiny.
?

this ‘frames’ wallpaper idea would
look cool in a bathroom
or on a small wall,
but instead of L20 ($40) a roll,
couldn’t we just draw this
on with a sharpie?

via swissmiss

another reason i dig jack spade.
their un-fashion fashion show, lo-fi/lo-tech.

my parents gave cory a bag for his cu grad &
they’ve (cheerfully & free-ly) repaired it once
and it’s going to last him a good long time.
you know kate’s from kansas city, right?

mad croquet skills

we had a lovely time in connecticut
this weekend. thank you, ragland fam.
and thank you, cynthia, for shouldering
the load with me to make it work.

after a stroll around the grounds &
an initial game of croquet,
cory stretched out in a sunny room
surrounded by trees & water,
watching as much baseball as possible.
(the 4-way tie idea was interesting)

croquet,
board games,
paper airplane races,
family movie night (flight of the navigator),
more croquet,
playing at their ‘playground’ or ‘park’
(kids, i think the suburban crowd calls it a ’swingset’),
watching out for children using the croquet mallets in unusual ways,
drinking in the cloudless cerulean sky & rustling trees,
stretching out in the grass (beware of croquet balls),
trying to decipher cyn’s drawing of the grand canyon in cranium.

and all 3 of the big kids slept in the
same bed together. cozy & happy.

we came back in time for pre-church dinner
(thank you, mtk) and then off
to worship together @ the 5pm service.
and the boys thought it was so cool that
mrs. ragland was up in front of the church
leading us in prayer. way to go, ami.

yada-yada:
cory’s g.i. pain persists, as expected.
he’s a midnightpacer,
waiting for it to subside so sleep is possible.
he went in to work this morning, good news.

scott’s benediction last night
was like a cool breeze in my heart:

may the God of endurance and encouragement
grant you to live in such harmony with one another,
in accord with Christ Jesus,
that together you may with one voice glorify
the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
romans 15:5-7 esv

a God of endurance and encouragement,
that’s enough right there.