on humiliation

11 . May . 2010

one particular aspect of
townhouse life in the city
is the thrice-weekly
Taking Out of the Trash.

m, w, f evenings
we place our black bags
on the front curb
awaiting the early-morning arrival of
our [usually jovial] santa-in-reverse
sanitation workers.

the summer months carry the added
opportunity of people rummaging
through the bags at night,
presumably looking for ‘treasure’,
strewing the previously-tidy contents
hither + yon.

my humiliation was made
complete this morning
upon running into t.w.o.
respectable-men-whom-i-admire
while on hands+knees
cleaning up said strewn
*ahem*
personal superprivate trash.

one gentleman was even
so kind as to offer to help.

[i about fainted]

no thank you,
no! thank you,
i’ve
certainly got it.

‘dear sidewalk,
please open + swallow me whole.
stat.’

may the Lord do his surgery in
my heart today, as i am
vividly reminded that i, too,
am full of trash.

that my best efforts are as *ahem* filthy rags.

that though i’m built to know God,
i insist on living independently of him,
as my own master,

and that this effort at independence
creates a sense of anxiety + shame,

which results in efforts to
cover my nakedness +
justify my existence
to feel acceptable + worthwhile.

thanksbetoGod,
i am saved by his sheer generosity.

may we draw out the implications
of this gospel of grace today
+
prayerfully live in consistency
with it.

that the Ultimate Sanitation Worker
has done the greater work.

whew.

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2 Responses to “on humiliation”

  1. Karen Says:

    oh, the joys of city life!!!

  2. cindy Says:

    Kari Jo, of course you could connect a spiritual lesson on humiliation with a trash mishap. I would have just stopped at the embarassment of a man picking up my “private” trash and tried to live in denial! Thanks for leading us to Jesus.


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