raise your hand

27 . September . 2011

…if you gave a cheer for
yesterday’s parenting email
that quietly slipped into our

. communication is key .

communication is at the center of all relationships.
closeness is  communicated in many ways,
and people give and receive love differently.

five levels of communication provide opportunities for increased
closeness in family life. each level serves an important role for growing deeper.
if tension and stress dominate your relationship with your child,
start working through these communication levels and you’ll begin
to see significant change take place.

1. greetings are the oil that keep relationships cordial.
hugging your children as part of a greeting or welcoming them
to breakfast in the morning makes an important statement
about the value of your relationship.

2. exchanging information about our lives helps people know
what’s going on and contributes to a sense of connectedness.
as you go through your day, think of a couple of interesting things
you could share with your child.

3. sharing opinions and judgments is the next level.
some people are hesitant to share their opinions because
they feel like they’ll have to back them up or face an argument.
look for ways to affirm your children.
“that makes sense” can be an encouraging statement even if you disagree.
“thank you for sharing your opinion with me,”
can be a statement that encourages openness.

4. communicating emotions takes us another level deeper.
facts and opinions often have emotions hidden behind them.
“i bet that hurt” or “i can tell you’re excited about that,”
acknowledges feelings your child might be experiencing.

5. sharing spiritually brings an amazing amount of closeness into a relationship.
praying together, sharing what God is teaching you,
enjoying worship together, and having a sense of spiritual fellowship
are all ways to enjoy the deepest level of communication.
as you strengthen your spiritual lives together,
you’ll see more and more opportunities to discuss heart issues.

all five levels of communication are important.
don’t think you can skip the first few and still experience closeness.
look for opportunities to enjoy all the levels with your kids.


ps – go, wendy!


bump(s) in the road

27 . September . 2011

the trucks + workmen arrived
in front of our house this morning
to build a school-initiated
speed bump on our street.

why, hello, littleredhouseinthecity.

and what an appropriate sign
for this season of our life.

the irony of the timing?

a literal speed bump
being constructed
in front of our house.

given the past 2 weeks of
consecutive speed bumps

(some feeling like unscalable
cinder-block walls)

church changes,

family health sadness,

house construction chaos…

heavy hearted but hopeful
on west 70th st,

real-life parallels for this
[rather mopey] day?

this sad, drippy fire hydrant
on patricia/mary ellen’s street.
i felt sad and drippy.

next to nathan’s school,
why, yes,
i feel that way, too.

his mercies are new every morning. xx

ps –
so sorry about your broken arm, eli;
you are ridiculously tough.

pps –
don’t tell eli that we had a
Total Blast
here in apt 1 with his brothers
while his precious parents
took superb care of him at the ER;
a party night with adam + daniel,
that’s for sure.

serious fun on a school night.