this little gem from
biblical parenting
this morning:

gratitude increases closeness in relationships.
as you parent your children, look for opportunities
to take advantage of gratefulness to draw closer
to your kids. give your children small gifts of love
day after day. be careful, though, that you don’t
confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap.
some parents, wanting their children to like them,
recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it
by giving them too many things. giving to your kids
must be tied into relationship, or the gifts feed selfishness
instead of gratefulness.

overindulgence is giving your children more
than their character can handle. when children
lack gratitude, then the more you give them,
the less they appreciate. parents must restrain
themselves or they’ll exceed their children’s
ability to manage the blessings. overindulged children
rarely become grateful when you give them more things.
they grow to be more demanding and selfish. parents
then feel unappreciated and become resentful.
the hearts of both parents and children harden
toward each other, and closeness becomes a thing of the past.
if your children become overindulged rather
than grateful, then pull back on the area where
you’re giving too much. look for creative ways
to give differently to your child.
teaching the heart gratefulness can be a challenge.

having a child say thank you is just behavior.
gratefulness comes from the heart.

monitor your child’s response to gifts of love to determine if you’re
growing gratitude or overindulgence. as gratefulness increases,
you can slowly give blessings in a way that will produce more gratefulness.
you’ll know if you’re moving too quickly by your child’s response.

remembering a veryspecial dinner
with friends late saturday night;
happy bday, dg!!


One Response to “saying ‘thank you’ vs. being grateful”

  1. joy Says:

    So glad i read this tonight! Understanding that as a parent we should not be searching merely for coached behavior in gratefulness! My prayer for my children is a grateful heart! Something i try to exemplify daily. Thank you for sharing.

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